Legit Notebook Right Here.

So, I mentioned a few posts ago that I will show you my awesome new notebook. Well, here it is.

Don't you just love the webcam quality?
I sure don't.

If you can't read the very small print, here's what it says:


I CAN'T SLEEP.
A journal for passing the time when insomnia strikes and my brain is circling in on itself, cannibalizing the trivialities of the day and exaggerating the ticking of the clock, reminding me that every minute spent awake is another minute closer to when I'll have to get up, though many of the greatest artists and sages were insomniacs and that's part of how they got so much done, so if I can't sleep, I might as well write and channel my misery in something productive.

^ ISN'T THAT COOL?

Time for me to pour my misery into this notebook. Haha.

My Inner Poet

Countless dreams I had of you.
Many sleepless nights.
I'd wake up from my dream,
Realizing I'm in reality.
That I can never go back.

Back to the past,
Re-live the dream.
The flashback.

I reread those words,
Butterflies in my stomach,
Flutter around.
My emotions can't hide.
You let yours fade.

I can't help but remember,
The laughs,
Our talks.
They way I'd smile and know that I'm alright.
Because I was.

Maybe it was the timing.
It was all so perfect.
Everything was.
The pieces of the puzzle fit.
Nothing shattered,
Or broken.

I can't help but notice,
Seeing you with another.
The striking pain inside of me.

Will your words be believed?
Will my pain be ceased.
It's not just you.
It's the past itself.
Will it come back?
Will life be the way it was?
Better?

It's not that.
It's the atmosphere around.
Loving, caring, amazing.
I recall those memories,
Realizing how "perfect" it was for me.

I know you're there.
You're somewhere inside.
Maybe not with me.

Now it's all washed away.

Everything between us.
Everything I had.
Everything there was.




OKAY. Here's the story behind this. I read a poem and I ended up coming up with the first half and the second half is personal... in a way. It describes two situations actually; one more personal and the other kind of imaginary.

YES, I KNOW. ANOTHER "AWKWARD" THING. No need to remind. Nothing that personal, really. It's just I still have that one song stuck in my head. :)

Fyi, I came up with this at the top of my head... and it's not edited. I thought I'd show you some rough work. Very freestyle. Want to let me know what you think?

Say hi to my inner Shakespeare. Haha.

Whoa. Can It Be? A New Song?

My friend made me listen to this AMAZING song. It's called B-e-a-utiful by Megan Nicole. (Look it up!) Then, she challenged me to write a song that has a similar topic as "B-e-a-utiful.

OKAY, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A SOMEWHAT "AWKWARD" SONG?

No thanks.

But of course, sometimes, there are songs that just inspire me; or I hear a line that makes me go "Oh! This is cool! This reminds me of... blah blah blah." Honestly, I cannot control my writing. It's like magic! *poof*
Then I came up with this:

Words never explain how I feel.
I'm dreaming thoughts so surreal.
Have they ever popped up in your mind?

Sometimes I wish you were by my side,
And I wish I could go back in time.
To when it all first started.

My mind is spinning, don't know what I'm doing.
I feel as if, I'm losing it.
Will I ever get my chance?

*chorus*
I will wait for my miracle.
And one day you will call me beautiful.
Just the way I dreamed it. 
I will wait for the special day.
I never knew I could fall that way,
For you.

I'm going crazy in my head,
Remembering  things you once said,
Have you thought of them too?

Sometimes at night I can't sleep,
You're haunting me in my dreams.
But you know, that's alright.

'Cause I like how I'm unfocused,
I'm hoping one day I'll be noticed,
Will I ever get my chance?

*chorus*
I will wait for my miracle.
And one day you will call me beautiful.
Just the way I dreamed it. 
I will wait for the special day.
I never knew I could fall that way,
For you.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say,
I can't believe that day is now today.
Goodbye is a word that I hate,
So just let me wait...

Let me wait for my miracle.
Let me wait for something magical.

*chorus*
I will wait for my miracle.
And one day you will call me beautiful.
Just the way I dreamed it. 
I will wait for the special day.
I never knew I could fall that way,
For you.

I'm Drowning My Life in One Notebook. Poor Thing

Well, I suppose that's what journals are for.

It's pretty awesome, actually.
It had quotes and stuff in it. I like it. Also, it's blue. I love blue! Haha.

I basically spend every night writing in it.

I don't have a pic of it at the moment but I'll post it soon.

Okay, can't say much now. Bye!

Summer boredom... With Books, Guitars and Piano.

I really need to work my butt off for more songs. Really.

I'm having one of those "really, just really?" moments.

I NEED MORE SONG IDEAS.

Help me out pleaseeeeeeee?


Well, anyway, how's everyone's summer? Good? Oh well, that's... er... good. Me? Oh thanks for asking but my summer is alright. I guess it's more than alright. I read a bunch of books (and currently reading some too). Oh, and I learned a few songs on my guitars... and piano.
Fyi, I'm not the greatest pianist.

So, yeah. Let's start with books. (I recommend that you read them. They're awesome!!)
Speaking of awesome... I read:
-The Book of Awesome- Neil Pasricha
- The Lost Hero- Rick Riordan
-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K Rowling <3
-Stormbreaker- Anthony Horowitz
-Pride and Prejudice-Jane Austen
-Emma- Jane Austen

Now, songs that I learned:

-Skyscraper- Demi Lovato. (Guitar and Piano)
-Edge of Glory- Lady Gaga (Piano)
-We'll Be A Dream- We the Kings feat. Demi Lovato (Guitar)
-Misery Business- Paramore (Guitar)
-Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri (Piano)
-The Voice Within- Christina Aguileria (Piano)
-Wouldn't Change a Thing- Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas (Guitar)
-Grenade- Bruno Mars (Guitar) Actually, I edited it. I kind of played it by notes rather than chords.


Well, I'm going to try to learn more. 

FRESH. NEW. BOLD. :)

Writing a new song. Hmmm... got any ideas?

I need to think of something new. I need a change.

SOMETHING NEW. FRESH. BOLD. You know?

I'm not going to make it sad. Hopefully not. I want to write about something different. I have way too many sad songs... Unless I come up with an amazing line for a sad song, then perhaps, I can make an exception.

BUT DARLING, YOU ARE THE ONLY EXCEPTION. Sorry, I just had a Paramore moment. <3

I can't think of anything. I'm having a brainfart at the moment and it's not fun.

BY THE WAY... I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 today and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g!! Honestly, I cried. Some parts of the movie were so sad... and I don't usually cry in movies. Haha.Well, anyway, I'm not going to spoil the movie for y'all.

It. Was. So. Good. (Yeah, I'm kind of obsessing over it now.)

^ This is how I spend my summer. Hi Vannie. <3 Hahahaha.
Wow, my face got chopped off.... oh well. 


Anyway... Any new song ideas? I'm all ears. :)

Demi Lovato Is My Hero. As Of Right Now.

Skyscraper. Demi Lovato. Enough said. Check it out:

I just heard this song and I started to bawl my eyes out. Is that normal? heh.

IT'S JUST THAT THIS SONG IS SO AMAZING AND INSPIRING. 

Let's just say, when I hear a song like that, I get inspired and then I come up with an uber depressing song too.
Honestly speaking, sometimes I do feel this way.

Anyway, here it goes: Shattered Glass

I'm surrounded by the walls,
That are pushing me inside.
No one hears me, no one cares,
About my screams and cries.

I'm still wishing and hoping,
That maybe I'll have a chance.
But my moment seems like it's
Slipping right out of my hands.

*chorus*
What do you feel when I'm in pain?
You seem to think I'm going insane.
But you don't realize.
You don't know what I'm going through.
The truth is what you're seeing through.
But I won't break.
I won't break like shattered glass.

I watch the raindrops fall and shatter,
Breaking like pieces, separating apart.
Your torments, your laughter,
Is hitting me inside like darts.

I want to see the skies clear,
And know that it's alright.
I'm going crazy but I'm standing tall,
Just to show you that I'm fine.

*chorus*
What do you feel when I'm in pain?
You seem to think I'm going insane.
But you don't realize.
You don't know what I'm going through.
The truth is what you're seeing through.
But I won't break.
I won't break like shattered glass.

Go close the door and run away.
I can't take it anymore.
Why do you make me feel so worthless,
It's making me heart sore.


*chorus*
What do you feel when I'm in pain?
You seem to think I'm going insane.
But you don't realize.
You don't know what I'm going through.
The truth is what you're seeing through.
But I won't break.
I won't break like shattered glass.

The truth is what you're seeing through.

I wont break like shattered glass.


^ Okay, so yeah. That's it!!
I know it's really sad but I hope y'all like it.
I should really start writing more cheerful songs. :D

Survivor

NEW SONG! NEW SONG! :)

Sticks and stones don't break me,
But your words do.
I'm trying to get out of this mess,
All I want is the truth.

I'm stuck in between my problems,
I wish it would just go away.
Why oh why is it just me
Suffering from the pain?

*chorus*
*Do you know that I'm a survivor?
I'll keep soaring higher and higher.
Don't underestimate me, I'm a fighter.
Your words wont bring me down, anymore.

I'm trying my hardest to blend in,
But I still stand out.
I'm stuck in many situations,
I want to scream and shout.

In a world where peace is lacking,
It gets worse and worse.
Everyone's now in trouble.
Can someone help make it worse.

*chorus*

*Do you know that I'm a survivor?
I'll keep soaring higher and higher.
Don't underestimate me, I'm a fighter.
Your words wont bring me down, anymore.


*Do you know that I'm a survivor?
I'll keep soaring higher and higher.
Don't underestimate me, I'm a fighter.
Your words wont bring me down, anymore.

 
<3 

Words of Wisdom.

"Breathe for love tomorrow, cause there's no hope for today. Breathe for love tomorrow, cause maybe there's another way." -Paramore.

Song: Breathe. :) (CHECK IT OUT!)

Thank you Paramore for those words of wisdom. I shall try to live by them.<3

Rawk on. ;D

Spazzing At My Camera. Part 2.

Still spazzing. Still discombobulated.
How wonderful.

I must do something about this... immediately.

Well, I wouldn't say immediately due to the fact that it's midnight. Great. :(

TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY.
Hopefully the world wont end. No, it wont. I said so.

So, yeah. Not in the mood to rage over my camera now.
I'll try to "fix" it tomorrow, if I can.

AND BLOGGER, PRETTY, PRETTY, PLEASE LET ME POST HD VIDEOS NOW.

Kay. Thanks. Bye.

Nighty night.

Spazzing At My Camera. Part 1

Oh gosh, why does my voice sound like... erm... poop in a camera?

HOW ON EARTH DO PEOPLE MAKE THEIR VOICES SOUND GOOD IN A CAMERA.

HOW?
HOW?
HOW?

The frustration is killing me. I'm discombobulated, like, legitly. discombobulated.

Is 'legitly' even a word? I don't care. I shall make it one.

Time for me to rage. Here we go.
Three.
Two.
One.

qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm. reujklgsjaiorehjklgawrpiegruohjksdadiouregjksgjhsp;dfljkd.
-slams head on keyboard-

Ouch.

Any-who, that's not the worst part. Every time I make an attempt to post a video on here, blogger will gladly ruin my moment and I will have a pop-up saying  "We are sorry, but there was an error while uploading your video.

WHAT IS THIS INSANITY?

Does blogger not like uploading new high definition videos? I think not.

Ragequit.

Now, I shall eat sweet oranges and grapes while crying in misery.

Random Snippets.

My songbook is filled with empty pages and pages that consist of either:
1. one verse.
2. a chorus
3. a line.
4. ect, ect.

Yeah, you get the point.

Oh, btw. Time for me to rant. I'm kind of annoyed by this new blogger layout. I'm sure you didn't notice it because you don't have to go on blogger and draft and stuff just to edit, post and manage the blog.
If you do have blogger, I hope you understand my pain... my confusion.

ANYWAY, here it goes!

"It starts to rain,
It washes away everything.
All the pain,
If only the rain washed it."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
I'm trying to watch the rain wash away,
The pain and I'm sorry I had to replay,
But I'm hoping that it wont stay."  <-- ANOTHER SONG WITH A REFERENCE ABOUT RAIN. AHAHAH.

"Mark my words darling,
I should've listened to what they said.
Now I'm feeling confused and,
Paranoid inside my head."  (YAY! NOT A RAIN REFERENCE)

"Every night in the sky, you see a star.
I'll make a wish and say, I'll reach far."  (PRETTY STARS. -laugh out loud-)

"I'll be there 'till the end, no promises to bend." (WHOA. COOL. haha)



Um, yeah. That's about it.

Shattered.

I stare at an empty page,
Waiting for a miracle.
Wondering if something magical will happen soon.

The tears I'm fighting back,
I wish for something great.
But I guess, not every wish will come true.

Maybe I thought I had a chance,
Maybe I thought you changed.
If only you knew what was on my mind,
What I'm thinking these days.

*chorus*
So why did I get lost,
When maybe I could've gotten out?
Why did I try hard,
When maybe I'm falling down?
Why did I dream,
When I know they will be shattered...?

I walk on an empty road,
Walking on a fragile line.
I wonder when the moment comes, when it breaks.

I stood there watching you out.
I'm just holding my breath.
Everyone's helping me out to cease the pain.

Maybe I thought I had a chance,
Maybe I thought you changed.
If only you knew what was on my mind,
What I'm thinking these days.

*chorus*
So why did I get lost,
When maybe I could've gotten out?
Why did I try hard,
When maybe I'm falling down?
Why did I dream,
When I know they will be shattered?

Why did I wish,
When I know they wont come true?
Why did I listen,
When you weren't listening to me?
Why did I dream,
When I know they will be shattered?

So why did I get lost,
When maybe I could've gotten out?
Why did I try hard,
When maybe I'm falling down?
Why did I dream,
When I know they will be shattered?


Yay! Finished! I know, sad, depressing. :(
But I still hope y'all like it tho.

FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS WELCOMEEEEEE. :D

Awkward.

There is always a time in your life where everything just ends up being awkward... that's my life now. : \

I don't know why, though. Honestly. I feel awkward. Something isn't right.

AH HA. I SHOULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT.

Wait. What should I write?

Gosh, this is an awkward post. Heh...

To make this post even more awkward than it is.. this is what I'm going to do:

There are three meanings to awkward. (Thanks to The Free Dictionary)

1. clumsy
2. Difficult to handle and manage.
3. Marked by causing embarrassment or discomfort.


I don't know which definition applies to me now...


My mind, boggled. I'm sure yours is too.

Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable.

Midnight Writing. My Brain is in Action

I stare at an empty page,
Waiting for a miracle.
Wondering if something magical will happen soon.

The tears I'm fighting back,
I wish for something great.
But I guess, not every wish will come true.

Maybe I thought I had a chance,
Maybe I thought you changed.
If only you knew what was on my mind,
What I'm thinking these days.

*chorus*
So why did I get lost,
When maybe I could've gotten out?
Why did I try hard,
When maybe I'm falling down?
Why did I dream,
When I know they will be shattered...?



I'l try to finish it soon! Oh gosh, I just hate it when I can't finish a song but I can't help it. :S

It Starts With One Word

Dreamer.

What does what word mean to you? Does it remind you of anything?

Something incredible happened to me today.

This one word made me write a song. Just like that. -does that finger snapping thingy-

It's only 2 verses and a chorus... BUT GOOD ENOUGH. Here it goes!

Dreamer
Every day is like a wonderland,
All I wanted is there.
Even you.

I don't want to get out of there.
I'm lost in my mind,
My mind.

Let me stay a dreamer.

*chorus*
When I'm lost in the dark,
I'm surrounded by fear.
I know here's a place,
That will always be here.
When I can't find a way,
When I just need a breather,
I want to get out of reality,
And become a dreamer.


Hope you liked it! :)